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Monologo ni Aling Atsirka

Sa kanila, …
Ako ‘yong batang gusgusin. Nanlilimahid at pinuputakti ng lahat ng klase ng langaw at lamok. ‘Yong amoy ko kasi masahol pa sa – Ano ba ‘yong naamoy mong pinaka sa tanang buhay mo? Kung anuman ‘yon, ‘yon na ‘yon. Gula-gulanit ang kaisa-isa kong dyaket na nakapaimbabaw sa obersays kong dating puting-puting t-shirt e nangingitim na. Bigay lang ‘to ng mamang napadaan dalawang taon na ang nakalipas. At ‘tong pwetan ng bestida kong kaluma-luma’y tagpi-tagpi. Ako’y walang pera ni isang kusing. ‘Alang makain. D’yan lang pagala-gala. Walang tiyak na patutunguhan. A basta, kung anuman ang inabot sa ‘kin ng mga nadadaaanan ko, kinukuha ko. Salamat sa mga panahong nakakatsamba ako sa mga hilera ng basurahan ng pamatid-gutom.
Pero para sa kanya, …

Prinsesa raw ako. Katunayan e, Prinsesa Juana ang tawag n’ya sa ‘kin. Hihihi… Nakakalanggam naman! Naghihinatay daw sa ‘kin ang napakagarang mansiyon. May malaking kama sa sarili kong kwarto. ‘Tong bestida kong ‘to, sus papalitan Niya ‘to ng bago na may di ko maipaliwanag na kakomportablehan. Di raw ako giginawin o pagpapawisan, sakto lang. Komportable nga e. Di ko aalahanin pang makagat-kagat—Sandali!. May ngipin ba ang mga lamok at lamok? Este, gan’to, di na raw ako muling matusok-tusok ng lamok o madidilaan ng langaw. Okey ba? Sila pa raw ang magiging numero uno kong kaibigan. Di ko na kelangang mangmina ng trash can. Lahat ng gusto kong kainin o inumin, iproprovayd Niya. Di ko iisipin ang uhaw at gutom ko pag ka gano’n. Kaya lagi akong relaks at s’yempre nakangiti.

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WOMAN-ified ME

I was born a woman but ended up acting the opposite. Clumsiness and its cousins in the thesaurus is what I am. Finesse goes unsaid and unheard in my world. I preferred oversized tees over fitting blouses. I refused figure-flaterring dresses for loose pants. I would choose a paintless face even being merged with a bin of all-made-up pretties. But I knew I am a woman inside. So are the secret feelings that have silently died. It was only me who knows everything of what-really-is. It was hard shifting to finer moves. Oh graceful me in sweat! I hate being with someone who I cannot see myself. Because to me, gaudiness is parallel to fun. Not long after, I’ve been to stores of pallets. So the smudged me emerged. Little by little, I’ve added garments I thought I can never wear. These changes of seeing ourselves that can improve us.   
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World Reading Day 2020

This was my preggo days. Unbeknownst, I visited my OB-Gyne just thrice. The first two for the sonography of the tiny life budding in my tummy. The third time was because of an impending urinary tract infection. I had more time reading this book than supposed visits to an OB-Gyne. G-d had been so good to me and had me a safe delivery of a daughter. The self-help book reached another hand of an expectant friend.  Whiling time during not-so-hectic clinic duty,  I laid a book to gorge on. One co-employee barged in for a photo op.  I met these young minds when I was in Caloocan. One day, we found ourselves dating threesome in a library. Suddenly, I felt like I belonged!  Ah! The student days. No, I don't want to mention my "extended" years of stay studying that degree Doctor of Veterinary Medicine.
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NY 2016

      Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion, therefore, I will wait for Him." Lamentations 3:22:24
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