Psyche-

In a single sleep, my eyes prop open to things that are moving so swiftly from my parents' tale 10, 227 days back from today. Bring in to them their firsts of their lives intertwined-- baby colic plus budding profession. I don't know how many pluses would I list down to affirm how everything was then. Year after year is realized that I have to outgrow my getting more clingy to the reach of my parents and so with my sibs who are up fast and on with their lives. My friends come and go (no one really stayed so long). I took pets from exotic to domestic and they just proved how ephemeral happiness can be. Our lives really can never be all in synonyms. Our existence is to be accepted in antonyms. To my bestfriend who I share the same day but a year apart of marking our annual earthly substantiation, a clink of glassful of healthy drink to us! We choose to be of pure bliss... :)))

Walking down the lane of dreams u n f o l d i n g, I recalled my awkward encounters with animals my childhood days. The class was told to think of a theme using pronouns if I remember it right. I came up with a topic about how our week revolved around our only family dog then. My draft included running after Kukoi for its weekend splash, daily manual deticking and defleaing and three times a day meal. It ran thru couch rumbling and sneaking thru bedroom doors when given a chance or door beating on firecracker season and thunder blight. Until Kukoi was bred by roaming-free alike mates and boom! More pups filled the house. The family would know Kukoi on its way to whelping by its bump and we would just be surprised in the morning she already whelped. One pup after pup died due to this bloody diarrhea or frequent vomiting. I had to go to school late trying to revive a pup I did not know was on the brink of life-death. I slowly forced fed the pup with a sugar-milk solution and I got m...

I was about to get off being quadriplegic and ready to roam free when I was diagnosed with bronchopneumonia primary complex. My mom in her profession of teaching became my instant quack physician, therapist, nanny, caregiver and nurse for years of this struggle of weak respiratory system. I always find her having me being babied so lavishly, a realization made after leaving the outskirts of home post-high-school. On a first hear of sniffling or coughing, she would warm coconut oil on my back and do some reflexology she believed would ease me off my wheezing. Mother would be boiling leaves from the yard and be setting a certain glassful of the concoction leaving me bloated. If she hears about a new approach to health such as pills or machine she would let me try. And if her line of first aid would not work, only then she would consult a medical expert. A classmate laughed it off upon seeing me, I was I think 13 that time, being carried at the back when my mother had to bring me to the ...

At the tipping of the calendar is the last day of the twelfth month of the Roman calendar. In the evening of this is breaking of the new phase of year. This boy, still smaller than me, would say, “Many people are celebrating for this birthday.” He was so sweetly naïve and all the family had that smile to him. Now, he’s grown passed my height and still has that statement. And more nostalgia breaks off my memory bank and this shedding of tears. You are so-more-than-words loved by us. You will always be the family’s baby. We are with you in every prayer. In whatever ways that we have fallen short of, may you find the grace to get back to what is right and make us all calm. Happy birthday, chinito baby love!

SMS 13Nov2014 Hayahay ang buhay. Here @ Jollibee all alone by myself for lunch and later wld be going to fix my PhilHealth (Affix here a smiley.) But then only to find out na offline ang office na pupuntahan ko. Recommended about Beauty in a Bottle by a friend, I bought one ticket. Sobrang tawa ko sa panonood.  Wahahahahaha-- Then I started to have my vision blurring. Then streams of tears running my face. Nakareleyt ako ng bongga sa movie. Chooosss... SMS 22Dec2014 Noringai's Buti pa ang Roma, May Bagong Papa struck my laughing-gas episodes a hundred times cover to cover. I did not mind the other commuters elbowing themselves in and out of the jitney or the honking vehicles running or stacked at the highway. All that mattered that moment was Ms Noreen Capili was talking to me. For half a minute I felt my eyes welled up, and the other half of it, I was smirking. I gripped to the truth, I am like her at least in tumbling crazy about a crush and having that craziness for ...

Christ's birthday. Time of giving, exchange gifts, family reunions and festivity. No, it is not a season, as some people have thought, made for children. The most missed part is the days before this date--the Advent. My faith says Advent is the prelude of repentance and enervating our inner core for the coming of Christ. Then my Dad would say it is not true that Jesus Christ was born on December. And so what has been said as truth was or is not... Christmas is Christmas!!! May the spellbound month in its substantial meaning be not forgotten. And it is for this reason that...

I was born a woman but ended up acting the opposite. Clumsiness and its cousins in the thesaurus is what I am. Finesse goes unsaid and unheard in my world. I preferred oversized tees over fitting blouses. I refused figure-flaterring dresses for loose pants. I would choose a paintless face even being merged with a bin of all-made-up pretties. But I knew I am a woman inside. So are the secret feelings that have silently died. It was only me who knows everything of what-really-is. It was hard shifting to finer moves. Oh graceful me in sweat! I hate being with someone who I cannot see myself. Because to me, gaudiness is parallel to fun. Not long after, I’ve been to stores of pallets. So the smudged me emerged. Little by little, I’ve added garments I thought I can never wear. These changes of seeing ourselves that can improve us.